We all know the importance of effective communication as part of leadership, and we often think about it in terms of how we (leaders) deliver a message to our team members. It is equally, if not more, important to think about ourselves as the receiver of information and as such it may require us to practice active listening. What is active listening? Active listening is more than hearing someone speak; it is participating in such a way that you seek to understand the message and its intention. Active listening is considered such because the “listener” does so to understand; not respond, judge, or advise.
When someone is communicating a message, there are two different layers an active listener pays attention to; one is the content and the other is the feeling or emotion that is underlying. By paying attention to both, it becomes possible to accurately understand the meaning of the message.
When managers practice active listening there is a much greater likelihood that they will not only better understand a common problem; they are now more likely to find consensus for a solution. Active listening is not for show, something you do to convince others you have heard them out; it is a genuine technique that relies on authenticity in its participants, and it requires ongoing practice.
Before elaborating on the benefits of active listening, consider some helpful tips managers can employ as they practice this valuable skill.
Curiosity
To actively listen in an authentic way, you have to be genuinely curious. For example, you may see a business problem one way and a team member sees it quite differently. Rather than anchor too rigidly into your perspective, you need to be curious as to how someone else is drawing such a different conclusion. You have to be open-minded to the possibility that you are missing a piece of the puzzle, which requires humility and a desire to learn. Asking closed, “yes or no” questions can block access to the speaker’s underlying message and reduces the amount of information shared. Instead, open-ended questions do not contain predetermined answers and are, therefore, a more powerful tool for getting informative responses.
Paraphrasing and Reflecting
Effective active listening requires continual clarification, which means reflecting back what you think you are hearing, restating it, and asking for confirmation from the speaker. For example, if someone says, “we don’t have enough in our inventory to complete the project”, you might say, “So what you are saying is that in order to finish this project we need to increase our inventory? Can you tell me more? How much of an increase is needed?” Using this technique gives the speaker an opportunity to confirm their message or elaborate further if more information is needed.
We can also paraphrase emotions that we perceive while active listening. By listening for words or phrases along with non-verbal cues it is possible to detect fear, boredom, fatigue, cheerfulness and other expressions of one’s emotional state. For example, if a person says, while rolling their eyes, “we’ve been told it should only take two hours to complete our preparation work” you can verbalize this by saying, “It sounds like you may not agree with that assertion? Tell me more.”
Present
Active listening requires you to be fully present and free of distractions. While we all like to think we can effectively multi-task, the reality is that we miss a great deal when we are not focused on a single conversation. This requirement is true for the active listener and the person speaking. Because of tone, body language, and our capacity to process a message, if it is not possible to remove distractions it is better to schedule the conversation for another time. Being present helps the listener detect the nonverbal cues which helps them gain a better understanding of the speaker’s emotional state and level of comfort.
Affirmation
To be most effective you need to offer up affirmations that you understand (unless you don’t), such as “yes, I understand”. More importantly, relentlessly pursue what is not understood and probe further with “help me understand, tell me more”. Affirm what you believe you understand and affirm what you need more information about. You are not reacting, advising, or judging; you are seeking an understanding.
Restraint
To be most effective you need to offer up affirmations that you understand (unless you don’t), such as “yes, I understand”. More importantly, relentlessly pursue what is not understood and probe further with “help me understand, tell me more”. Affirm what you believe you understand and affirm what you need more information about. You are not reacting, advising, or judging; you are seeking an understanding.
